It’s when I wake in the morning and realize I have no reason to wake up. I am bored with this planet and sick of my nerves getting in the way of me doing anything, I’ll never make it, these thoughts go on for 15 minutes while I stare at the clock tick over 10 am and think everyone is somewhere doing something now,
I’m not doing anything and my biggest plans for the day is struggling to get motivated to do anything probably doesn’t help that my wonderful government cut off my medication because they got someone elses test results, from that I am now paying the price and it’s not light. I will admit before I was depressed but now not even the sunshine and flowers in the day outside make me feel anything,
I know I can’t concentrate and it is really driving me crazy, to make it all worse my city is having huge gusts of wind everyday and it makes it way to hard to go out. I end up taking it out on the boxing bag once the pain has subsided, Which just makes me angrier. I feel so weak and out of control, I would have liked to say things had changed but no I still have to deal with more than anyone on this planet should have to.
So what I keep waiting for people to treat me properly or ignore them which leaves a few people I trust… Living for me or them?
I’ in stupid crazy pain right now. Just thought I’d update since it’s been so long; So I left out the action packed bits, I’ll let you fill that in.
Peace,
Nightworrier