Another one of Those Days… Pain Full.

I think I’m starting to shake it. Not the TN but the depression.

I’m filling every gap of my day with painting, playing and dancing(breakin). It makes my whole body happy when I dance(maybe one day I’ll post a pic.) it’s always brought me out of bad times (when I havent been in pain or injured). I just can’t feel that real kick I use to get. I think it’s because I’m still lonely. This is no offense to my friends and supports. I have deliberatly separated myself from everyone. I know it’s my fault. That’s the way I planned it. It’s better this way.

I’m taking valium everyday which I think is helping me cope enormously as I have less pain and less thoughts.

I’m starting to feel achy again and don’t want to even think about Ross River. It really can’t be as bad the second time round. I’ll just keep busy and distract – distract – distract. It seems to be the ONLY way right now.

If need be i’ll take something later to alleviate the pain.

Peace,

NW

Back Troubles

When I was 19 I did something to my back while I was playing sport. I found out it was something to do with sciatica. My Mum and siblings have both had back troubles too. Eventually my back repaired itself but I couldn’t sit stand or do anything properly for about a year or more with very little relief (Ibruprofen 200mg) twice a day everyday. I paid big dollars to see a physio so I could lie down while he put a vibrating machine on my back for half an hour to 45 minutes. He’d say afterwards. so do you feel better now. At the time I had much anxiety as well and “Yeah I feel a bit better” which was true but only lasted a couple hours by the time I was home I’d be back to where I started from. So to cut a long story short. I didn’t have much faith in the system when I had back problems.

When I was recently in hospital I noticed a similar pain in my back with the same numb tingling going down the back of my leg. I explained it to the doctors in emergency they didn’t mess about the did an MRI and had many doctors check it and verify where the pain was coming from. They gave me some ibruprofen and endone ( I was wondering how I was gonna deal with the pain when it wore off). Which gave me much relief. I could actually lie comfortably.

Since hospital I’ve seen my local doctor. He looked at my back and understood what I was saying about how my leg aches and feels tingly. He put me on paracetamol every 5 hours and one tramadol sr 150mg soon up to 200mg to get through the night. I was skeptical about the tramadol actually relieving this much pain. But to my surprise it works wonderfully and one tablet lasts all day. I don’t know how long this back ache will last but I learned alot from last time. eg. Getting out of bed slowly, not forcing myself to stand up straight. etc.

Hopefully It’ll be good soon,

Peace

NW