Doctors Appointment Review

I went to the doctors today. Expecting anything as one does. It was actually quite an easy visit. My support worker who is also a social worker came in with me. I like to have someone in the room in case something gets said or people think

Wednesday my first week.

Wednesday I stayed I was woken then after breakfast I had early by 2 nurses who gave me my meds after
breeakfast they wanted to do an ekg I thought she said ect!!! I freaked then she said itwas for a heart
test’ It took a while but I was fine about it. I spent the day in the ward and spent time talking to the
psychologist I learned a lot more about my anxiety and symptoms the useful help he gave was much in need
and it seems like such a long time coming. Nearly 10 years approx. there were things i was doing that made
my anxiety worse. like holding my chest when
i feel my heart race it just reinforced my feeling and made it real, also i was lifting my
feet like my toes and heels when i was sitting that goes for standing aswell. it was also a
way of feeling like i could/should run, even thoughh thhere was nothing to run from. I usually
wear sunglasses but last 2 days inside I have’nt worn them inside, I must admit I have stilll been
carrying them around sort of a security thing. But hiding behind them was another mistake, as i was
hiding behind them in a way. It turns out all the dancing I did to get the adrenaline out was really
telling myself there was a reason for it. In future I willl train when I’m not anxious and for the
reason that I love it instead. I also walk and sit staying small as I can so people won’t notice me.
I am now finally getting the idea and am wearing brighter clothes and trying to stand straighter. I
was quite nervous afterwards because I could see some of the problems and being aware of them has got
me thinking alot more.\f1\par

Friday 11th

So what got you in here?
Like some kind of monster’ what was it that got me in, I know now, people antagonizing me constantly, it drove me crazy. I was and am improving a lot, this morning was a rush to get the crazy crew Ivy’ Br’ Tri’ry, and me. I dressed for a cold day hat hoodie pants, R came to my door and asked if I wanted to see Iv I thought well she made it into the ward and for the company, and time and ciggerettes’ I felt I owed herr I bought her a pack of cigarettes and a couple of coke cans. She was happy as she only gets a very small amount of money and reeally needed some help. I alsoo needed someone to cross south road with me. as I wanted to go to a real shop talkk to a shop assistant that didnt know my problems shes a nice chinese girl, I chuckled when Ivy had her coke and offered the shop assistant a sip, she kindly refused. It was a long hot walk back to the ward as I had to pick up a coffee for Trish and a couple dollars for Br, he bought couuple packets of chips and was very happy. I went back in the ward and asked why I get those heart stickers on’ Nurse Mark looked it up and let me know. It was an abnormal first one, not sure bout the other one. See what it was exactly tomorrow, I willl write it down.
I keep thiinkking about how ian snuck up on me n scared me, I couldnt eat with him around’ when i saw the psychologist about it he wanted o help me with sleep, I told him about my lack of trust and why. whats worse is everryone here is starting to follow me around or wlk behind me,\par
I went out with Tom and Pete, couldn,t get a word in edge ways. So welcome home… weell it reeally was nice to see them and the animals and tom and of course Pete. I even gt to speak to steve on MSN he found my trumpet!!! thhat was great. Petee seemed edgey maybe it was because he was up all night. maybe Luke annoyed him a bit too much? Well I’m nearly better and I want to leave on Wednesday. Which is only 3 nighhts away (: . It would suck to get detained for a piss litttle instrument.\par
When I got back to the ward Mark said he was reliieved to see me, I was glad to be back!!! safer and I thoughht I couuld quickly gather my thhoughts as I walked in that big strange woman withh thhe shaved head poked me and said have fun? I replied yeh fine then i realised who it was’ what is it with thhem following me arouund and always trying to touch me. it was 6 and dinner was on the trolley, I sat down in the only place left and tried to eat. Ian was sitting next to me oncee I sat down he started to eat really slow I mean as slow as me he kept watching me out the cornerr of his eye, I felt so agitated. I’m trying to get and I thinkk Im doing ok. everyone says I look and sound better. Probably because I spend so much time in my room… allone. The nurses have been good to me. Especially someof the nighht staff. they are underrstanding about how I feel with O following me, walkking nearf me and around me when I am the only one left in the kitchen After appprox 20-30 times laughhing at me and making jokes with Ian, I had enough I hadd spooken with a nurse oblly minutes earlier. whhen he walks past he stops at my door looking in so I just get up and shut it, then he walks off I would like him to stop trying to mess withh me. As it got later things got worse he walkked righht up to me still dressed the same as he was when I got here. Last thing I need in herre is to be intimidqaated and rude things he says, I saaid “stop it now or Im gonna cop you a fucking hardd hit. e stopped his stupid laughh and sat down I went and sat down I followed him and stood righht behind him while he was on the lounge. I could see him getting agitated and I wass ready to use thisagreessioon with all my poower I wanted to deck he or kick him in the head. weell both really. I waited tilll he felt uneasy with me behind him. then I walked off he watched me and was not liiking the facct I didnt want anything to do with him and not be in the vicinity of him ever. If he laughhs again Im gonna fucken twist his head. I don’t believe he is sick, i thinkk most of it is laziness he just lets thhem look after him and he annoys and agitates all of us. Making the ward uncomfortable for people who are depressed and serioously upset. He went to thhe nurse and complained later. the nurse Anna heard me tell him I was gonna breeak him if he tried anymore. BS he’s so unwell’ if it is intellectual disabilityy whats he doiing in a psych ward. I thhen had Nurse K come and chat to me he said e had spoken to him and he will leave me alone. I Rememberr wanting to kill myself over the bullyiing and harrasment over my whole life. some guiys following and ever again I , so lucky to have Kevin as my Nurse as he is helpping me cope with everything (; the only nurse in here at night that really keeps an eye on things. helps everyone and puts out the fires. Well I’m gonna need to sleep soon. But anything tomorrrow happens I will trry not to but can’t garantee I wont fucking kick himin the knnee and when he is down just kick hiim in the head whiille I,m laughing at him’ o poor o everyone has had enough. He is fat and slow, I am fit and quick, funny how people misjudge me. Pysch wardds can be difficult at thhe best of times. He needs to be in minda’ ashford or another place where he has to learn or live in solitude like so many of us do. I got told that I had comprimised my stay and may be detained or such for thhe outburst. I will use all my stength not to do anythhing but I,m not taking anymoree from thhem. thhey startt to follow thhey will reeget it. \par
I miss man at home my friends my dogs. Even Fi n thhe kids I thhinkk about a lot.\par
Peace nightworrier

Second Saturday

Like some kind of monster’ what was it that got me in, I know now, people antagonising me constantly, it droe me crazy. I was and am improving alot, thiis morning was a rush to get the crazy crew Ivy’ Br’Tri’ry, and me. I dressed for a cold day hat hoodie pants, R came to my door and asked if I wanted to see Iv I thoughht well she made it into the ward and for the company, and time and ciggerettes’ I felt I owed herr I bought her a pack of cigarettes and a couple of coke cans. She was happy as she only gets a very small amount of money and reeally neededsome help. I alsoo needed someone to cross south road with me. as I wanted to go to a real shop talkk to a shoop assistant that didnt know my problems shes a nice chinese girl, I chuckled when Ivy had her coke and offerred the shop assistant a sip, she kindly refused. It was a long hot walk back to the ward as I had to pick up a coffee for Trish and a couple dollars for Br, he boughht couuple packets of chips and wass very happy. I went back in the wardd and asked why I get those heart stickers on’ Nurse Mark looked it up and let me know. It was an abnormal first one, not sure bout the other one. See what it was exactly tomorrow, I willl write it down.\par
I keep thiinkking about how ian snuck up on me n scared me, I couldnt eat with him around’ when i saw the psychologist about it he wanted o help me with sleep, I told him about my lack of trust and why. whats worse is everryone here is starting to follow me around or wlk behind me,\par
I went out with Tom and Pete, couldn,t get a word in edgeways. So welcome home… weell it reeally was nice to see them and the animals and tom and of course Pete. I even gt to speak to steve on MSN he found my trumpet!!! thhat was great. Petee seemed edgey maybe it was because he was up all night. maybe Luke annoyed him a bit too much? Well I’m nearly better and I want to leave on Wednesday. Which is only 3 nighhts away (: . It would suck to get detained for a piss litttle instrument.\par
When I got back to the ward Mark said he was reliieved to see me, I was glad to be back!!! safer and I thoughht I couuld quickly gather my thhoughts as I walked in that big strange woman withhthhe shaved head poked me and said have fun? I replied yeh fine then i realised who it was’ what is it with thhem following me arouund and always trying to touch me. it was 6 and dinner was on the trolley, I sat down in the only place left and tried to eat. Ian was sitting next to me oncee I sat down he started to eat really slow I mean as slow as me he kept watching me out the cornerr of his eye, I felt so agitated. I’m trying to get and I thinkk Im doing ok. everyone says I look and sound better. Probably because I spend so much time in my room… allone. The nurses have been good to me. Especially someof the nighht staff. they are underrstanding about how I feel with O following me, walkking nearf me and around me when I am the only one left in the kitchen After appprox 20-30 times laughhing at me and making jokes with Ian, I had enough I hadd spooken with a nurse oblly minutes earlier. whhen he walks past he stops at my door looking in so I just get up and shut it, then he walks off I would like him to stop trying to mess withh me. As it got later things got worse he walkked righht up to me still dressed the same as he was when I got here. Last thing I need in herre is to be intimidqaated and rude things he says, I saaid “stop it now or Im gonna cop you a fucking hardd hit. e stopped his stupid laughh and sat down I went and sat down I followed him and stood righht behind him while he was on the lounge. I could see him getting agitated and I wass ready to use thisagreessioon with all my poower I wanted to deck he or kick him in the head. weell both really. I waited tilll he felt uneasy with me behind him. then I walked off he watched me and was not liiking the facct I didnt want anything to do with him and not be in the vicinity of him ever. If he laughhs again Im gonna fucken twist his head. I don’t believe he is sick, i thinkk most of it is laziness he just lets thhem look after him and he annoys and agitates all of us. Making the ward uncomfortable for people who are depressed and serioously upset. He went to thhe nurse and complained later. the nurse Anna heard me tell him I was gonna breeak him if he tried anymore. BS he’s so unwell’ if it is intellectual disabilityy whats he doiing in a psych ward. I thhen had Nurse K come and chat to me he said e had spoken to him and he will leave me alone. I Rememberr wanting to kill myself over the bullyiing and harrasment over my whole life. some guiys following and ever again I , so lucky to have Kevin as my Nurse as he is helpping me cope with everything (; the only nurse in here at night that really keeps an eye on things. helps everyone and puts out the fires. Well I’m gonna need to sleep soon. But anything tomorrrow happens I will trry not to but can’t garantee I wont fucking kick himin the knnee and when he is down just kick hiim in the head whiille I,m laughing at him’ o poor o everyone has had enough. He is fat and slow, I am fit and quick, funny how people misjudge me. Pysch wardds can be difficult at thhe best of times. He needs to be in minda’ ashford or another pllace where he has to learn or live in solitude like so many of us do. I got told that I had compromised my stay and may be detained or such for thhe outburst. I will use all my stength not to do anythhing but I,m not taking anymoree from thhem. thhey startt to follow thhey will reeget it. \par
I miss man at home my friends my dogs. Even Fi n thhe kids I thhinkk about a lot

Selling my life

So amongst the gambling and selling tips I now sell myself at first I was a bit skeptical at first but I am making money from selling short custom videos. Content at this very moment. Well gotta get some orders done.

NW

2018 huge changes in life.

You’d think les s friends. Sadder Id be but Im really enjoying life. Not so much the curveballs. I am pumping out songs everyday.. I think I have found some satisfaction in life. Even more this year than previous.

Would you believe I actually have s great doctor. Well 2. I have a great GP. And a fantastic psychiatrist.

Well just a note for now.

Nightworrier is back. Better and stronger.

Much love. If your having a shit time right now. Read my blog. There may be things that will help.

2017

So after a year of terrible tragedis. The loss of 2 more amazing friends.

I cannot understand how DL had the accident which ended his short but bright life. I had even asked him days earlier not to venture into the area of the bush he was heading to. I wanted to go with him and I didn’t feel ok when he even mentioned it. For some reason I felt uneasy. WhileDL seemed relaxed (As he should’ve he was looking fitter than Id ever seen and certainly happier) I miss him everyday. It doesn’t get easier it just leaves another reminder of the wonderful people that are on this planet. Rare yes and beautiful… Absolutely. But a hole is left and many say it will heal over time.I think more than anything it is more like a tattoo of the people and animals who have left such a mark that the memories and hope never leave.

Just before my Birthday in 2016 I was called by a few friends of friends of my close friend and who I often called my lil Brother Mr. Dash. He was also young only 16. I couldn’t believe it and when I asked how they sent mesome photos to show the damage he had recieved from a large electrical shock. (It had burned %60 of his small body) He looked into the camera with fear/love and helplessness all at the same time. He knew I would see the photo and maybe in the back of his mind thought they’re maybe some chance of survival. The shock wasthousands of volts and he was strong enough to survive for a short while afterwards.I saw many photosafter he had passed. This has been hard. Images stick words can drift away much easier (most of the time).

On my Birthday Imissed the Skype call I had arranged as Mr. Dash had passed away. Instead I celebrated my Birthday by letting go of Balloons with friends names on them.

I guess you can read last years blog for an update.

Anyway dinners here I better eat . I have much more to catch up on so I will be back soo. Peace. NW

When you get pushed down you have to fight!

After many ”Meetings” with the so called head of mental health. Nothing has been changed in 2 years!!!. He has only made things harder. I think it’s time to light a fire under his ass. He is not responding to my emails and if he was half the person he said he was . Put it this way he wouldn’t let it happen to his family/ (Though he seems quite disconnected with society) Which could be the problem.

You have my email if anyone wants to chat. I’m all ears.

These people are just manipulators of the system and letting thousands down everyday!

But this needs change. I don’t care how many people need to loose their jobs because we need the right people collecting the pay checks not someone pretending to listen or pretending to know everything! (I am not kidding this guy is really egotistical!) He gets a small position here. All the sudden he is using his power for nothing or worse.

I am not afraid to name and shame. As you have noticed with the Pentacostal Nurse I mentioned that trys to push patients into his very untoward chruch.

But after this recent email to him maybe it will be time to do something about this. We can’t have leaders hide behind veils because they are doing the WRONG thing.

It’s not shaming them if they have said and done these things. That would be called fact in history if it were not covered up!

Peace.

NW/

 

 

David Hanes is the Devil. Lawyer needed!

The above named is the main mental health worker, though he is a thief and liar. I now have it written on paper by the dick himself. I will have to meet with his supervisor again who is not doing his job! I will make him and if he doesn’t his name is next. John time is running out for you too, The clients with mental suffering get treated worse because of David and his obsession with the Pentecostal church. Religion plays no part in helping the mentally ill. Talking in toungues, He has even had people killed by ”Baptism” What is going on I am gonna push forward and clean this place up.

Peace, I wont rest till this is fixed.

Nightfigher.

South Australian Mental Health – Religion!!!

It’s still a fight but I will not stand down. They system is run by Mental Health nurses that direct very mentallty ill and weak to a pentacostal church, They are still getting turned down and it has become acceptable in the Southern hospitals to refuse help and give patients (even with Agoraphobia) an adress to the church they leave disheartened and helpless. I may need to step it up some more, The more info the better. I still have more paper proof to take it further.

Looking for a lawyer now who can handle this straighforward cut clean case. If you or know someone willing to help in this area please contact me.

Thanks for the years of support I was lucky enough to get here, Not from paid government mental health.

I am not backing down!

Peace, NW.