Is this the end??? This is what it’s come to???

 About a week ago I lost it real bad. I mean threatening everyone around me with a knife to stay away so I could kill myself. I had no intention of hurting anyone but myself but it certainly scared them. I managed to slice my arm not quite as easy as butter, before I knew it cops with bullet proof vests were in my house… To help me??? Hmm anyway I didn’t even have the knife at that stage it was just a slight situation. They took me to hospital and with all the brains the hospital could come up with they send me home. I am still thinking how I will finish it. I guess I should tell you how all this got so bad. (re: blog) apart from that I recently had a tooth pulled and now I have Trigeminal Neuralgia on both sides, lets not beat around the bush here I have the suicide disease now in a very serious way, every day is no blessing for me. I don’t believe family and friends even want me around anymore. Maybe this is a suicide note. I can’t be sure. I am constantly looking for a way out, and if I can take out one of those bastard neighbours before me I will. SO I guess this is how they deal with homicide in Australia they know I will do it yet they will sit back and watch this disaster of humanity like a movie. I am sorry it came to this. Pain is too much and no body should suffer as much as I have. 

Sorry I haven’t written in a while things slowly span out of control. Gained momentum and killed me.

I am doing one day at a time. I have a doctor tomorrow and hopefully I will get some help if not I have another one after that. So that’s Tuesday. It’s Sunday at the moment. 

I’m going outside and having a Becks and a think.

Much Love and Peace,

NW.

*THIS IS NOT A JOKE*