Still no hope from hospital

Well last few days have been a haze of pain and depression. I needed to get help from my local hospital. I waited for a while in the waiting room got my blood pressure done. Then later had some blood taken which turned out quite difficult and it hurts when all they get it air then the pressure pulls the syringe tight again. Yeah now my arm hurts too. I know she was trying her best. Yeah that was a great 5 hours in the ‘naughty room’. Till this crisis worker from the local “crisis ” centre M strolls in. tells me were to sit and starts rambling about self harm and how I should get over it and “if you feel suicidal why haven’t I done it yet. Get over it and go home”. I think the only words I got in were ‘”Do you have any Idea what pain is?” In her semi professional* manner she looked at me for a while as to say something witty then turned away and continued to write some other more important things. As she walked back into the nurse station. I don’t know what to say. Could I really be having this bad luck or is this where mental health is?
I at least got respect and got to talk to a doctor. I got to actually say what I wanted and she listened too.

Then I was out on the street with a long walk or a meet up with my partner and get home.
Luckily the doctor called my partner he turned up.

When we got home I was miserable to say the least. My partner made me pancakes n played dice with me, I took a bunch of Valium. Kept my cool n wake up I’m pretty hung over from the diazepam but ya get that. Least I’m kinda sane, Hearing from a friend today lifted me as well. I wish he was happier too.
So I’m writing this down because I need to get it all out.

Peace,

NW

*( I’m really not sure if she is even a psychologist le alone have any training or researches any of her work.)