It’s called 140. I don’t know why… Or From Oxycontin to Duragesic.

Finishedwith pills. But Still can’t keep a grip on these new fentanyl patches I get anxious hot flushes and sometimes feel a bisick but it’s been the best so far apart from the Oxycontin which was a life saver, But if the doc thinks patches are better he must know something I don’t because from what I’ve read the patches are stronger then the tablets. The clonaz is helping with breakthrough pain and helping me sleep but I gotta say after taking so many different medications this year it’s been more then confusing. And definatly has not helped my mental state. I think the reasoning behind not prescribing oxycontin is because some people abuse it. On the contrary I’ve heard of people abusing the patches too and not living to tell the tale.

I just don’t see why they don’t  say “Well what worked for your tn to begin with?” and we start from there again. But I will never understand the logic in this world or the medical/mental health system.

On the mental side of things I’m getting so stressed out I went into the chemist to get my serenase (halperidol) to save my ass when I lose it like this morning. Sometimes when I have the TN I’m so angry that I’m supposed to live a normal life but it isn’t possible with any TN. I look around and see people who don’t have it everywhere. I feel like It’s me alone with this pain and others can only just guess how painful and hard it is for me. I am alone here in my city with this yet to meet someone eye to eye who understands this crazy pain. I thank Julian from my heart for always being there when I couldn’t take it anymore. You might be half a world away Julian but when you call me it’s like we’re in the same room.

Thanks to everyone on wordpress for putting up with me and my somewhat nonsensical entries,

Peace,

Nightworrier

BTW My 100th entry yay.