Another one of Those Days… Pain Full.

I think I’m starting to shake it. Not the TN but the depression.

I’m filling every gap of my day with painting, playing and dancing(breakin). It makes my whole body happy when I dance(maybe one day I’ll post a pic.) it’s always brought me out of bad times (when I havent been in pain or injured). I just can’t feel that real kick I use to get. I think it’s because I’m still lonely. This is no offense to my friends and supports. I have deliberatly separated myself from everyone. I know it’s my fault. That’s the way I planned it. It’s better this way.

I’m taking valium everyday which I think is helping me cope enormously as I have less pain and less thoughts.

I’m starting to feel achy again and don’t want to even think about Ross River. It really can’t be as bad the second time round. I’ll just keep busy and distract – distract – distract. It seems to be the ONLY way right now.

If need be i’ll take something later to alleviate the pain.

Peace,

NW