Well last few days have been a haze of pain and depression. I needed to get help from my local hospital. I waited for a while in the waiting room got my blood pressure done. Then later had some blood taken which turned out quite difficult and it hurts when all they get it air then the pressure pulls the syringe tight again. Yeah now my arm hurts too. I know she was trying her best. Yeah that was a great 5 hours in the ‘naughty room’. Till this crisis worker from the local “crisis ” centre M strolls in. tells me were to sit and starts rambling about self harm and how I should get over it and “if you feel suicidal why haven’t I done it yet. Get over it and go home”. I think the only words I got in were ‘”Do you have any Idea what pain is?” In her semi professional* manner she looked at me for a while as to say something witty then turned away and continued to write some other more important things. As she walked back into the nurse station. I don’t know what to say. Could I really be having this bad luck or is this where mental health is?
I at least got respect and got to talk to a doctor. I got to actually say what I wanted and she listened too.
Then I was out on the street with a long walk or a meet up with my partner and get home.
Luckily the doctor called my partner he turned up.
When we got home I was miserable to say the least. My partner made me pancakes n played dice with me, I took a bunch of Valium. Kept my cool n wake up I’m pretty hung over from the diazepam but ya get that. Least I’m kinda sane, Hearing from a friend today lifted me as well. I wish he was happier too.
So I’m writing this down because I need to get it all out.
Peace,
NW
*( I’m really not sure if she is even a psychologist le alone have any training or researches any of her work.)
Nightworrier's Weblog 
I have in the past met many people who have no compassion whatsoever – and at times like this is when you need that little more understanding.
I encountered some of that confrontational crap when I was in the psych ward once. It again became fashionable to “challenge” depressed people, to tell them “get over it” early in the 2000s. Some quack wrote a paper and some other quacks thought it made sense. Part of it may actually be a tactic to weed out the crybabies from the actual sick people. It sucks being on the receiving end, I know that.
I guess you know the benzos most certainly aren’t helping with your depression. About as far down in he dumps as I’ve ever been was when I was eating handfuls of Valium. I guess YMMV but I seriously doubt it. They’re very dangerous to detox from as well. Be careful.
OMG. I can not believe those things came out of her mouth! That is completely insensitive and unprofessional! Especially for anyone in the psych field!
I wouldn’t appreciate it from anyone in the medical field period but sometimes you can get some lame brains there… However, they too should be more sensitive.
I recall having an email chat with my cousin who is an ER doc many years ago after my second hospitalization. She didn’t know exactly why I was admitted. She went on some terrible tirade about cutters being complete attention seekers who don’t take their meds. They always come in and out of hospital and are such bothers and pains in the ass…
I then told her that…oh…I was there because I had cut. She was stunned into silence. That pretty much ended the conversation.
We never really saw each other as she lives in another province. We ended up seeing each other a few years ago and she seemed more sensitive to mental health issues. We had a good talk about it as I’m all med geeky so I guess she’s a bit better in that area now? She’s also older and more mature now so that may help?
Yes very insensitive. I have met others in the same crisis team who are not like that so there is a glimmer of hope for thr system. It seems my luck has been down in that area.
*hugs* NW
Thats so good to hear about the different way of thinking your cousin has aquired, Thats such an important element in the recovery of mentally ill patients.
Peace,
NW